I live in an older apartment, and I knew going in that there were going to be things about it that did not work as well as I would like them to. For the past year my shower has been one of those areas that functions but not at the level that I wanted. It did not drain properly, so every shower that I took I would end up standing in about two inches of water. I basically took a shower/bath hybrid. For a really long time I was like “Eh, whatever this doesn’t bother me that much.” But, one day I was just fed up because I realized that this shower was the perfect representation of how my life has been for the past couple months.
A couple months ago I wrote a post about how excited I was for summer. I talked about how I was excited for the weather and going to the beach. Turns out, this summer has not been that great. Sure, I had a good vacation, which I also wrote about, but overall there has been a lot of stressful situations. On the outside I tried to play it cool, like nothing was bothering me, however those close to me know that this is not the case. On the inside the stress was eating away at me to the point where it became overwhelming. It seemed like no matter what I did or how much I prayed nothing was going right. People kept telling me that God was in control and not taken off guard by the situations happening around me. While this is true and God is in control, it is hard to be comforted by this fact as a person who likes to have things figured out.
My breaking point came while I was standing in my shower trying to clean myself after a workout. As I stood there I realized that the top of my body was getting clean but my feet was still surrounded by filth because the water wouldn’t drain properly. I just thought “This is exactly how my life is right now.” No matter how much I tried to ignore the problem, and only half-heatedly pray about my circumstances, it still persisted. In order to fix my shower, and mental state, I had to take ownership of the problem and fix it. So, I immediately got out of the shower and when to Lowes where I bought a $2 tool to unclog my shower. I went back home and ripped out all of the crap causing the clog. IT ONLY COST $2! This problem I had been just living with was such a freaking easy fix, but I just kept ignoring it.
After I fixed my shower I had to fix my mental state. But here’s the thing, I can’t fix my mental state. Only God can give me peace. No matter how many books I read about peace, or advice I get from friends, at the end of the day God is the only one who can truly grant me peace of mind. I was unwilling to realize this fact for a while because I wanted to be in control. But, that is not how God works: “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you,” James 4:7. “The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God,” Philippians 4:6. The truth in these verses are what I needed to hear. In order to rid myself from stress and anxiety I had to humble myself before the Lord.
I wish I could’ve ripped all the crap out myself like I did for my shower, but I had to let God handle everything. When life is filled with stress it is probably the hardest thing for me to let someone else take control. I am very type A, and I like to handle my own problems. But, life is too hard to go through alone. We are meant to walk in it with God.
“Both worry and stress reek of arrogance.”
― Francis Chan