The Middle Man

I have a fairly large family. I have two older brothers, both are now married, so really I have four older siblings and then I have two younger sisters. Plus my parents, of course. So, there are nine of us in total, and I am directly in the middle. There are many things that could be said for being a middle child such as: they are usually forgotten, they are often peacemakers, they are resentful, and good team players. There is an effect called the middle child syndrome for when middle children feel neglected and excluded. As a middle child I can say that some of those feelings are definitely true, but in reality being a middle child is great. Recently, I was reminded about how much I enjoy being a middle child.

A perk of being a middle child is that you get to be both a younger sibling and an older sibling at the same time. I get to go to my older siblings for help, but I also get to help my younger sisters. Recently, I went to my brothers for advice, which happens more frequently than I would like to admit. Having older brothers who are a little more along in their lives than you means that you can gain from their wisdom. They have kept me from doing some pretty dumb things, and they usually tell me things in a straightforward manner. When I asked them for advice this most recent time, they told what I needed to hear even though I did not really want to hear it. When my two brothers agree on something then you can usually count on it to be true. So, I took that as a sign that I shouldn’t do the dumb thing I wanted to do. I appreciated their honesty and willingness to help me out.

Just a few days later I was put in a similar position that I put my brothers and got to act like a big brother to my sisters. Being a big brother is really fun, and I often find myself very proud of my younger sisters. One of them had written an essay that she asked me to read and give her feedback. While reading the essay it hit me that my sisters are pretty remarkable. The essay showed me that my sisters are no longer twelve year little girls like how I picture them in my mind. They are mature and doing things with their lives that I only wish I was brave enough to do. One of them texted me one day to make sure that I was doing okay, and I had to remember that I was the older sibling in that moment. I honestly did not even check the essay for grammatical errors. I could only respond by saying “I’m so proud of you.”

Being a middle child gives you the best of everything. While I do get forgotten sometimes, I also get to have close connections to all of my siblings. All of them are great, and I do not tell them often enough about how much I care for them. They will probably read this and think it’s sappy, because as a middle child I don’t show a wide range of emotions like the baby of the family. Truthfully, I could not imagine life without being the middle child. I will say though, statistically I have a much better chance at success because I’m going to be the most well rounded. So, really I am in the best position. #sorrynotsorry

“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something”
― Lemony Snicket

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One thought on “The Middle Man

  1. I am the oldest child and my parents made all their mistakes with me. My brother is the younger child (only two of us), his childhood is polar opposite of mine. I grew up too quickly, took on more responsibility than I needed to, and ended up crashing and burning in my mid-20’s that I’ve since recovered from. I’ll admit that the way you describe being a middle-child makes me envious. At mid-life now, I don’t have a good relationship with my brother because we’re so different. Hold onto the family bonds, they’re more important than you think.

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